Seattle’s famous Biscuit Bitch where people can say the “B” word without getting the evil eye or even slapped.   It’s why it’s filled with male customers.

The city best known for 90s grunge bands like Pearl Jam and Nirvana.  The intellectual pursuit of engaging conversations while drinking your latte after jumping off the public bus.  The city of never-ending rain producing some of the amazing backdrop filled with mountains and trees with different shades of green.  It’s a tree hugging liberal’s sanctuary as they enjoy the day at some indie coffee shop on their new laptop.

Biscuit Bitch Seattle
The menu

Biscuit Bitch sits a block up from Pike Place Market in a discreet coffee shop.  As I walked passed it twice, I came to the realize it was in an old coffee shop and they decided not to change the sign on the front.  It was quite obvious as the patrons were all eating biscuits and drinking coffee.  It reminded of scenes from 90s movies like Singles where locals would correct me if I say “U of W” instead of “U Dub”.

It was early morning when I arrived at Biscuit Bitch.  The line is as long as online sites and blogs have warned.  The place barely fits two 4 seats tables and people are crammed in uncomfortably.  However, it still doesn’t stop the tourists and locals from piling inside one after the other.  The order doesn’t take long to prepare and it is in front of you in a matter of a few minutes.

Now, the food at Biscuit Bitch.  I was able to try a good number of items on the menu.

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  1. Straight Up Bitch –  It’s the most simple and basic “bitch” on the menu.  The biscuit laid next to the sausage then completely smothered in gravy.  The biscuit flaky and soft mixed with the salty sausage provide robust flavors on my palate.  It’s picturesque food pictures found on some of the wildly popular Instagram pages.  However, the ingredients were over salted and it really ruined the overall dish.

    Biscuit Bitch Seattle
    Straight Up Bitch
  2. Bitchwich – The biscuit sandwich with a semi-clever play on combining two words.  The Egg, Cheddar, and Sausage biscuit sandwich.  Three and a half inches in circumference with melted cheddar cheese and juicy sausage patty in between.  The simple breakfast item was good but my sodium level was rising as I took another bite.

    Biscuit Bitch Seattle
    Bitchwich
  3. Gritty Scrambled Cheesy Bitch – The dish is a biscuit smothered with Gravy topped with Cheese, Scrambled Eggs & Garlic Grits.   The fluffy eggs were drowned out by the salty grits and the flavors were overwhelming and overpowering my palate.  It became very unpleasant after the second bite and I started to realized people who enjoy the food must love salt.

    Biscuit Bitch Seattle
    Gritty Scrambled Cheesy Bitch
  4. Hot Mess Bitch – The Hot Mess Bitch is the probably one of the most popular items on the menu.  The biscuit is smothered in gravy, topped with eggs, garlic grits, and cheese then finished with Grilled Louisiana Hot Link and Jalapenos.  Every item added to salt on top of salt to really destroy my taste buds.  It was overbearing and I started to find every item on the menu to be over the top with saltiness.

    Biscuit Bitch Seattle
    Hot Mess Bitch

 As I checked my sodium level, I decided to order a cup of coffee to get every salt taste off my palate from Biscuit Bitch.  I couldn’t believe the perfect biscuits were destroyed by the overuse of salty ingredients.  After a few bites, everything I ordered was near uneatable and the flavors force itself onto me like unwelcome advances in my personal bubbles.  I left Biscuit Bitch feeling disappointed and completely confused about its popularity.

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Biscuit Bitch Seattle
Biscuit Bitch’s decor

  • 6/10
    Service - 6/10
  • 6.5/10
    Presentation - 6.5/10
  • 3.5/10
    Flavors - 3.5/10
  • 5/10
    Decor - 5/10
  • 4/10
    Ambiance - 4/10
5/10

Summary

Seattle’s famous Biscuit Bitch where people can say the “B” word without getting the evil eye or even slapped. The overuse of salty ingredients completely destroyed the flaky biscuits. I left Biscuit Bitch feeling disappointed and completely confused about why it was extremely popular.

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